Remarkables Lane: Chapter Two Txt-A-Mania


Feeling if anything marginally worse, and indeed very much wetter, John used the basin to haul himself to his feet and stood there, head bowed while he pieced together the timeline of last night’s activities and worked out whether or not he was going to be sick.

He remembered the trip down to the school quite clearly. Angie, sitting in the passenger seat, had been so cold towards him she was practically sweating ice cubes and then to cap things off he’d made the mistake of looking at a txt on his cellphone, nearly running off the road in the process. No wonder they’d banned it.

The txt was from Angie, telling him to stop driving so fast. He brought the car to a screeching halt.

“You’re sitting right beside me!” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Couldn’t you just tell me that yourself?”

Angie merely glared at him and stabbed at her cellphone again. John’s phone beeped as another message came through

“Just shut up and drive, Bucko,” he read out loud.

He turned to her: “You know Angie, the way you’re behaving is just not normal. One day we’re going to have to discuss what’s happening in a sane, sensible adult fashion and we can’t do that via txt message.”

Angie shot him another look and gave him the fingers. John shrugged and started the car again. She’d come round. She’d have to if they were going to be able to salvage anything out of the mess they were in.

The event was in full swing when they arrived. To John’s surprise, Angie stayed by his side as they greeted friends and aquaintances, even taking his hand at one stage and brushing down the lapels of his suit.

“Maybe a bit of a talking to was all she needed,” he thought. “We’ve been through too much together to throw in the towel now.”

He gave Angie an appraising look as she chattered and laughed to some of her friends. She looked like a completely different woman now she’d stopped sulking and had a few glasses of bubbles inside her. Blonde and statuesque, she’d always turned heads. Sure she was hard work and he’d paid a big price in order to marry her (or rather his family had) but by golly she was one sexy woman.
Buoyed by Angie’s seeming change of heart, he interrupted her conversation, caressing her backside as he did so.

“Would you like another drink darling?” he breathed into her ear. His breathing turned into a barely suppressed squawk as Angie backed into him and stabbed her stiletto heel deftly and deliberately into his foot.

She didn’t even glance at him as she made her excuses to the women she was talking to. ‘Sorry darlings,” she chirped as she sashayed off with a little too much spring in her step, “I can see Fee Rogerson over there and I really need to talk to her!”

The women returned to their conversation, leaving John alone to examine his shoe. He knocked back his drink in one and then limped over to the bar and ordered two more.

His phone went again. Another txt.Angie of course.

“Playing at keeping up appearances doesn’t mean things are back to norm…,” said the txt.

“Who the hell is Norm?” thought John. Then his phone beeped again as part two arrived.


“Oh,” thought John. The next part made his foot throb even harder.

“Don’t ever touch me again.You can no longer afford me.”

He put his phone away and drained his two drinks, one after the other and ordered two more.

All characters in Remarkables Lane are fictitious and any resemblance to any person alive or dead is purely coincidental…. No seriously, you’re really not that interesting