Pelicans Record another Moral Victory*

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Pelicans Record another Moral Victory*

The Pelicans upheld the spirit of cricket in a tense battle at Queenstown Events Centre on Sunday afternoon.

The toss was made on Wednesday night, leaving the Pelicans with the first innings in the field. Unfortunately the vast majority of the team had over-prepared the night before and rolled up to the game smelling of various things, none of them deodorant.

Despite a couple of players turning up late, we got underway on time with Scooter and Rubsie filling big gaps at first and second slip respectively.

Reg 9 Slips got the game away to a solid start with a good length ball just outside off stump. The scene was set for the remainder of the innings by the Billy Goats opening batsman, who closed his eyes and slogged wildly across the line and managed to squirt the ball out to mid wicket.

The Billy Goats lost an opener early but his partner continued the ‘unselfish batting’ by swinging the bat like a Star Wars fan with a plastic light-saber. He survived against the odds for 20 odd quick runs before his luck run out and he was able to open his eyes and wobble off.

The remaining Billy Goats set about building a competitive total on the patchy wicket and large outfield. Dangerous Dan bowled a 4 over set in the middle of the innings with more tricks than David Blaine. He took a career best 4 for b*gger all and showed his Pelicans Qualities by refusing any help with the mandatory beer-per-wicket regime run during our games. He bookended his performance with a catch that had more hang-time than any whiteman should ever display.

A series of French cuts, painfully slow reactions in the field, and the odd missed chance gave the Pelicans a tough but gettable 116 to win the game.

The match highlight was the superb roast chicken and ham sandwiches loving crafted at New World and washed down with a lolli-scramble of international beers. Quite how the Speights rep could forget to bring beer to a game is yet to be explained!

The top order was gifted a golden opportunity to bring the game home if they could apply themselves to some sensible and measured batting, of course this did not happen. Luckily the umpires were not breath-testing the first 5 batsmen as the most sober of the group had, in his own words ‘a hangover that could outlast religion’.

The Billy Goats continued to ingratiate themselves to the opposition teams by baying like small animals during the bowlers run up. The Pelicans are under strict instructions not to react despite the poor etiquette and the antics disappointedly went on unchecked.
One of the Goats bowlers sported a action like a man running uphill in roller skates, the whirlwind of apparently dis-located arms and legs was most off putting and his overs passed very economically.

Despite the embarrassing onfield verbal diarrhoea they must be commended for their cricketing ability and proving that practice occasionally does improve performance as they restricted a useful batting line up to just under a hundred and won the game.

*The moral victory was borderline until the aftermatch speeches during which the senior members of the Goats sealed the deal for the Pelicans by acting like spoilt school girls. Two other team captains remarked on their behaviour and they have managed to secure themselves a place amongst the teams that everyone loves to hate.

The Pelican has some advice for these guys, some advice that he was given a long time ago and it still rings true…Shut up.

Remember – the Pelican is only bird that can cartwheel, but doesn’t because its not manly.