Jumping off a cart hanging on a cable suspended over a river 134m in the air just seems like a bad idea.
Not only does it go against common sense but it also conflicts with basic human instincts.
You’re standing there, swaddled up in harnesses and ropes and Velcro-y bits, and some nutter not only tells you to jump but to actually dive off the edge.
Off the Nevis – the highest bungy in New Zealand.
Nope. Can’t jump, won’t do it.
Life flashes before eyes. It’s distracting – close them. Makes falling sensation worse. Want to cry, possibly do cry. Rope pings back, regret earlier coffee, stomach in mouth, heart still on bungy platform.
The eight-second freefall takes an eternity. The air screams past my ears, sounding like a stuck pig. Video evidence later proves the piggy squeal is actually coming from me.
I’d just like to clarify to bungy crew members Jaan and David that it wasn’t a scream, it was actually a tactic to slow myself down.
I figured if I opened my mouth wide enough I’d fill up with air and float down gently like a balloon.
I’m no physicist but I’m pretty sure that’s how gravity and aerodynamics work.
The world slows down. The pressure around my ankles tells me everything is working the way it should be.
Time to pull the cord to flip up the right way. I do it wrong – nothing happens.
I get hauled up by my ankles, dangling like a fishing lure, face swelling up with blood that refuses to defy gravity despite my heart beating so hard. I look and feel like a sausage in a too-tight casing.
But I’m alive so it’s OK.
Back on solid ground, driver Squeeze asks how the jump was. As I couldn’t yet form coherent sentences, I grunt, mumble and squeak something nonsensical in reply.
It was great, by the way.
All you need to know
What Nevis Bungy – New Zealand’s highest bungy
When Year round, allow four hours
Restrictions 13 years and older, 45kg-127kg
Book it 0800 BUNGY JUMP