Jack’s Point golf course operations manager and pro Andrew Dorsey greets me with a flash-looking bag of clubs.
“The first rule is you have to look good. The second is never blame the coach,” he says.
Being a complete novice, I’ve booked Dorsey for a tutorial prior to a round with Mountain Scene’s visiting defamation lawyers.
We start with grip – I go for the “interlock” which is how Tiger Woods does it.
Next is posture. He tells me to tilt forward like I’m about to dive into a pool, pop – not bend – my knees, and let the club drop.
Dorsey calls this “Tilt, pop and drop” and tells me to repeat it every shot.
I take a practice swing and Dorsey gets euphemistic: “Nice … it’s a start.”
Then just before my first drive, he imparts: “Let the ball get in the way of the club.”
I swing, I hit, it goes straight. Dorsey sounds as surprised as I feel – “Gee,” he says.
I keep hitting, striking some, duffing others.
We head to the first tee where Dorsey leaves me with: “Remember, your good shots are because of me, bad shots because of you.”
My first drive hooks wildly left. Ball one lost. I blame myself.
My second attempt lands on the fairway. Thank you, Dorsey.
Except by the time I get it in the hole, I’ve hit it seven times – and swung and missed twice to card a nine for a par four.
I improve to six for the par four second. On the par three third I hit a sweet tee shot, and fluke a chip onto the green which Izard Weston partner Tony Stevens declares an “insanely good shot”.
My putt from 10 metres rolls over the hole without dropping. I hole out for bogey.
At this point, what little game I have, completely deserts me.
After the sixth I’m blowing out so badly that when a mate texts to ask my score, I reply: “Nine … balls lost so far.”
But it was a lot of fun – and a great afternoon in the sun with the towering Remarkables on one side and glistening lake on the other. Never gets old.
By the time I’m done my score sits at 15 – but Dorsey seems okay about it.
All you need to know
What Jack’s Point golf course’s stunning 18 holes plus tutorial
Where Jack’s Point, past The Remarkables ski field turn-off
Cost $195 (includes cart, range balls). Autumn special – $99, from now till closing on June 10
book it ph 405 2050
Thrill-ometer Four of 10 (but seriously addictive)