“They damn near drove us mad on the farm in Southland about 40 years ago. It became hate after that.”
Arrowtown wasp buster Eeon Ryan has his busiest extermination season in 15 years.
“I was going well until the sickness hit me and after that it was a struggle as I was vomiting for about 45 minutes.”
North Islander Ben Campbell-Macdonald pulls out with motion sickness, six hours and 10 minutes into his attempt to be the first to swim the length of Lake Wakatipu.
“If the Kingdom of Heaven is shut off to certain kinds of people, then it’s not going to do a very good job.”
Devout Christian Chris Barraclough welcomes any former Candy’s Gentlemen’s Club staff after setting up his Vineyard Christian Fellowship in the brothel’s former premises.
“He couldn’t have picked a worse place to stop for a rest than outside the station.”
Queenstown police sergeant Keith Newell busts a dozy drink-driver who parked up for
a kip outside the cop shop.
“I got some kebab sticks and made a splint out of them and wrapped tape around my thumb.”
Queenstown skier X champ Mitchey Greig uses classic Kiwi No.8 wire mentality after breaking her thumb during her last race of the season in Sweden.
“We’ll hang with it, they’ll be dead soon, those people.”
The Remarkables Sweet Shop owner Jono Palmer says it’s only the older sweet-tooths who have a problem with him rebranding Eskimo marshmallows as Inuits.
“You may see more domestic tourism taking place as people put off [overseas trips], which I would have thought would support quite a strong summer for Queenstown.”
Prime Minister John Key on concerns tourism may take a nosedive this summer.
“Seeing her coming out was like seeing her be born again.”
Aussie visitor Steve Holdsworth explains his relief when daughter Katherine is rescued from a hidden crevasse in snow during a Glacier Southern Lakes Helicopters trip.
“The less you have on, the easier it is to stick to the pole.”
Queenstown pole dance teacher Anna Ashton represents the resort at the first Miss Pole Dance New Zealand contest.
“I basically had to wait for her to die and give birth to her the next day.”
Local mum Natasha Murray blames the death of her unborn child on delays in Queenstown’s inadequate public health system.
“I told them not to put that crap in their lungs.”
Queenstown police sergeant Chris Blackford deals with two professional American snowboarders caught with cannabis before the Burton NZ Open.
“I’m probably the only person on the planet who can say he’s been tapped on the head with a helicopter blade.”
Queenstown heliski guide Jef Desbecker miraculously survives a thump to the head from a whirling helicopter blade.
“It was the kind of flight where you don’t go home and clean your undies – you just throw them out.”
Shaken Jetstar customer Dayne Lewis claims terrified passengers were crying, screaming and vomiting during
a nightmare landing at Queenstown Airport.
“If the knives are out, then the knives are out.”
Outgoing DQ boss Stephen Pahl on claims unhappy staff may have had a hand in his early exit from the top Queenstown tourism post.
“Clearly [Brad McLeod] should not be doing that and he knows he shouldn’t…it flies in the face of everything that’s gone on – it’s a complete disregard for human life.”
Chris Jordan, father of English backpacker Emily who drowned on a Mad Dog Riverboarding trip, shocked at it resuming operations before a Maritime NZ safety audit.
“Some folk take themselves far too seriously but I think ‘Oh for f***’s sake, go and have a cup of tea and relax’.”
Controversial TV host and parenting advisor Nigel Latta brings his outrageous live show to Queenstown.
“Morning tea and lunchtime might be a bit different to other schools around so that we’re not outside when there’re three or four planes taking off.”
Debbie Dickson, principal of Remarkables Primary which opens soon at the Frankton end of Queenstown Airport, says they’ll structure school breaks around flight times.
“To go out and have a night out and get killed at a taxi stand is bad, isn’t it?”
Fraser Nehoff struggles to comprehend friend Mark Smith’s death during an altercation at a Camp Street cab rank.