Dear Santa,
Welcome to my mayoral Christmas wishlist.
So, let’s get a few things straight to start with. Deciding to give me some presents is easy, I’m the mayor, so I’m both naughty and nice, it’s in the job description – oh hang on, there isn’t one! Any chance you could start with one of those please?
Next then, and before you go thinking I want you to deliver a conference centre down my chimney, I know that would be ridiculous. No. I’m quite happy for you to leave it on the drive (although not for too long, apparently my house is going up in value and we don’t want to spoil that, do we?).
Well, Christmas is all about wishing for things, isn’t it? And having been an adult, and a councillor for some time, I’m well used to being realistic. So yes, let me know if you need any help making the convention centre happen in 2012 and I’ll get the chains on.
Oh yes, the chains. While we’re at it, a nice lightweight set would be appreciated. Something I can wear to the gym every morning, so Mountain Scene editor Ryan Keen can identify me and see how hard I’m working.
Now what else? Ah yes, a wee bit of cosmetic enhancement please. No, no, no, I don’t want anything Hollywood, just the chance to have the council bat-phone surgically removed once in a while please? I don’t mind, of course, it goes with the territory, but Pete – despite being a very patient husband – is a wee bit fed up with it going off throughout the night.
Or better still, how about getting the team at Clausville to knock me up a couple of Vanessa clones? If you peek into my in-tray you’ll see most people think I’m capable of being in more than one place at a time so a little elf magic on that one would be good.
And please can we have Rugby World Cup or similar again? Every year and in the South Island preferably, as long as the same English team comes again, and gets loads of pictures of Queenstown on everybody’s TVs around the world. I thought that was really kind of them.
And the Irish team would be brilliant too. But this time can they talk about ALL our restaurants and bars so the publicity gets spread around a bit more?
On the subject of tall timber, do me a favour and leave me an answer to the wilding pines issue. I’ve got one of course, but it’ll look a lot better coming from you I reckon.
Now, world peace would be nice, ta. I know that’s a lot to ask so how about we start small, by getting both sides of the hill working together on the same page, eh?
You know the story, Santa ... them, us, somebody else - if we could only harness all the energy that’s currently wasted on sniping and snarking back and forth across the Crown Range psychological divide we could probably power New Zealand for a year.
All that’s left then is getting the reseal job on Frankton Road done and dusted, and joining up all the white lines to make it less confusing for the reindeer; heaps of visitors I actually want to see over Christmas, oh, and the blueprint for an affordable long-term plan and I reckon you could be finished at my house in 10 minutes or so.
Could you please also make sure that everyone in the Queenstown Lakes district has a fantastic Christmas and a much better 2012?
Happy Christmas, Santa, don’t work too hard, Mayor Vanessa van Uden (aged one-third-of-a-term).
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